Slow Travelling Man

Now, it shames me to say that prior to 2018 that I was indeed a ‘smirker’. I was one of those smug, self-righteous sorts, who upon viewing a gent or lady perched upon one of those popular, diminutive-wheeled, folding bicycles, would carry upon my fizzog what could only be described as a wry & condescending smirk. But such was my ignorance, & frankly juvenile attitude, that at the time I failed to comprehend the sheer practical magnificence of this fine velocipede. So what changed my mind, I hear you ask. Well, it was during an outing to Tenby with my eldest, that I spied a gent & his companion disembarking a train with what looked to my untrained eye, like a pair of folded wheelchairs. But as I watched on from the carriage somewhat perplexed, within what seemed like a matter of seconds, the pair had unfolded not a pair of wheelchairs, but a pair of rather nifty Brompton bicycles.

Over the weeks that followed, I began to think more & more about the functionality of this uniquely portable bicycle. One day, I decided to pluck up the courage & pay a visit to my local bicycle retailer. Upon entering the premises, I aimed myself towards a bushy-bearded, check-shirted, tattoo-armed hipster chap who was stood standing behind a counter, tip-tapping on his handheld device. After what seemed an age of me faux-coughing & flapping my arms about trying to gain his attention, the hipster chap eventually managed to provide me with a whistlestop introduction to the Brompton bicycle. As well as showing me ‘the fold’ numerous times & making sure that I was well aware that of the ‘maximum rider weight limit’ (Cheeky young whippersnapper), he actually permitted me to take a model for a spin. Well I must say, despite being a tad twitchy with it’s teeny-weeny 16 inch wheels, the Brommie was rather delightful, so much so that the next day, after consulting with the management indoors & obviously hacking off an arm & leg to pay for the blasted thing, I went online & ordered one of my very own. Following what seemed to be like an eternity (about 3 days) I finally had the message that my brand-spanking new Brompton was ready for collection, & with an excitement of a nipper on Christmas morning, I excitedly skipped-off to the bike shop to collect my new plaything.

Well, it was love at first sight. From the off I showered her with expensive gifts & the odd cosmetic enhancement – countless bags, a black seat post, some swanky pedals & a pair of nifty ergo grips. Although I may of had many countless other bikes in the past, I can honestly say that Brom was the best ride of my life. I found that when I got my leg over & was in the saddle, so to speak, her upright position encouraged me to not rush & to just take it slowly & leisurely, rather than grind it out, all hammer & tongs. With her, it was all about enjoying the journey – a perfect match for a chap like me.

Although we hooked up back in 2018, Brom & myself have had many adventures together (as well as countless visits to the local pub & back), would I recommend a Brompton to anyone? Most certainly I would. They are far from cheap & they have their own peculiar quirks, but in this age of dull & boring Bromptons are just great fun. Oh & should you see a rather portly chap wobbling along on a rather small-wheeled bike anywhere near Reading, don’t be a smirker. Smile, wave & say ‘what-oh chum’, as it may just be me.